You Are Worth It

Some of the most hurtful words I've ever heard are "You're not worth it."

Those words are like ice water to the face. Four words can trigger so many other thoughts. You're not worth the effort, you're not worth my time, you're not worth my energy and emotions, you're not good enough, you're not wanted. Satan has used this lie time after time. The hurt we feel by those four words is a hurt we've allowed to manifest itself in our life. We choose to step into a toxic relationship, or a hurtful friendship and expect good things to blossom out of a relationship we should have never started.


We flirt with an irresponsible future.
We tease temptation.
We dance with foolish desires.
And we dream our lives away, wishing for a happily ever after that God has not authored.


How can we expect God to bless something He has already closed the door on?
Why do we get angry or hurt by something God has clearly said no to?

The lie is "You're not worth it." The truth is You are loved. (1 John 4:10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.) You are thought about. (Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.) You are chosen. (Jeremiah 1:5a Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee...) You are His. (Isaiah 43:1 Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.)

We are not created to be lonely. We have voids and holes that are meant to be filled. But we, with our flawed, narrow mindedness try to fit a corner puzzle piece into the center of the picture. Greater is coming. Don't settle for instant gratification, and risk losing the greater good that God has planned for you. Whether this is your first or seventh heartache, He is still good. He still has a plan. Trust Him. Counteract that lie with the truth and keep it moving. One day you will look back and thank Him for your hurts and disappointments because of what you learned and how much you grew from them. His plan is much bigger than anything we could plan for ourselves. Our good is not His best. Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions. You are worth it, wait for the one who sees your worth, because He has already called you worthy.

hope for your hurts

The older I get the more I realize that people are good at telling you exactly what you want to hear. People are really good at listening to you when you want to tell secrets about yourself. People are good at flattering you, building you up, being that shoulder to lean on...and then ripping the proverbial carpet out from under you. Through the friendships I've had and lost over the years I've noticed a theme: We, and I say we because I do it too, care so much about ourselves and what others think of us and how other perceive our lives to be, we forget to be genuine. So we flatter, we lie, we listen, and we wait because eventually our friendships will stop being convenient and we can spill that dirty little secret or we can move on to the next one, carefree because we let others pour their hearts out while we simply listened. We tear others down so we can look better. We throw away sincerity for moments of popularity. So when we are hurt by a friend, a significant other, a family member, we build up walls. We vow to never be hurt like that again, never open up again, never feel that awful sting of betrayal. So we become our hurt. We listen, we are insincere, we are flatterers, we wait for others to come to us instead of reaching out for a purpose. Its a vicious cycle that almost seems unbreakable.

I am tired of the fakeness. I'm tired of putting on a different persona for different people. If I want to have genuine relationships and friendships shouldn't I be genuine? Shouldn't I care and pursue and love others deeply? Why are we so skeptical and critical of others intentions? Because we've been hurt. We are walking damaged goods and we can't be healed until we let go of the bitterness. For months I've been begging God for clarity, for answers, all while I've held bitterness against a person who I let hurt me over and over again. And I'm not going to get my answers until I let that go. It's not easy, but when God told me "No." I fought Him, and I let that hurt continue to happen when God tried to stop it with a simple answer. Check your heart. Find that root of bitterness, of insincerity, of hurt and dig it up. Get rid of it, listen to God's answer and stop fighting. He will wait as long as it takes, but wouldn't it be so much easier to let it go and rest in your Father's arms?

& nothing shall offend them.

Isn't it funny how easily we can get offended?
I am a sensitive person, and easily 25 times a day I can get my feelings hurt. But when you really take a moment and think about it, why are people so easily offended? Was it a miscommunication? Are you guilty of what they accused you of doing? Is that something you've been working on and it hurts to know you're not doing any better? Why can words be so hurtful and damaging?

One of my favorite quotes is "Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out." It's so easy in ministry, in life, at work or home to just spit out the words we are thinking. We feel a sense of entitlement to say whatever is our minds because we are "just being honest." We are so funny, we think we have this right to act a certain way, when we really only have the right to be kind and tenderhearted.{Eph 4:23} We don't have a right to be rude, to be harsh or sarcastic with a smile. God has a tendency to put people in our lives that are different than us. Maybe the way we would handle or respond to a situation is the the exact opposite of how they would respond. So, when they act a certain way we are offended.  We "get in our feelings" so to speak.  And a wall goes up. We become hard or annoyed instead of being soft and teachable.

I wonder sometimes if God is sitting up there thinking, you could have avoided this confrontation if you had simply learned the lesson when I first gave it to you. Becoming offended or angry is not the answer. The Bible says "Great peace have they that love thy law and nothing shall offend them." I cannot tell you how many times that verse has popped into my mind when I'm annoyed at someone. I find that when I am not actively pursing God and spending quality time in His word and with Him I am easily offended. But -- when I have an open line of communication with Him I am more likely to talk with Him about the current offence, instead of someone that can do nothing to change my heart or fix my problem.

I'm learning that if you refuse to confront the problem -- let it go. Otherwise talk to someone that can fix the problem instead of spreading ugly words about others. God did not save us to harbor bitterness against others, especially other Christians. Every day I'm thankful God shows more grace to me than I show to others. If my grace scale was balanced with how much I showed to others....eek. I hate to think what my life would be like. He is so good to us when we are so undeserving, and I have the right to be nothing but thankful.

 ||"Not everyone thinks the way you think. Not everyone knows the things you know. Not everyone feels the way you feel, nor acts the way you would act. Remember this and you will go a long way with people."||

{Cure For A Lonely Heart}

Personally, I think the hardest part of growing up is the realization that people grow apart. Some days it feels like I'm always losing friends. The people I was "besties" with even a few months ago, I barely text or contact anymore. Friendships from high school are almost nonexistent. People grow up, they change, they move on with their lives and you with yours. Trying to balance college, jobs, family, ministry, time for yourself...it can be overwhelming. Sometimes you don't think about the friendships you've lost. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it doesn't bother you. Relationships change, the person you thought you couldn't live without becomes a stranger. The person you thought was your "ride or die" suddenly is too busy to answer your calls. Growing up often has a harsh way of letting you know that the world doesn't revolve around you and peoples lives don't either. Social media doesn't help the hurt, you can "stalk"-- okay, maybe stalking is a harsh word, but in essence isn't that what we do by constantly viewing someone's page-- almost like opening a wound over and over again when your "bestie" or your "ex" is moving on with their lives and other people. You lose focus of the people who are there for you and have been there for you no matter and focus on the people you have lost.

It's hard. It's hurtful. But it's also just part of life. Take a second, think about the friendships, relationships, or just people you have lost. Have they been replaced? Hasn't God always put someone in your life that can fill that spot? If not with a physical person, is that a void He should have been filling in your life? Were you letting that person take the place the belongs only to Him? I'm learning that God takes away things that we put above Him. And I'm learning how easy it is to replace God with people. We can touch people, we can "rely" on people when we think God is not reliable. In all honesty, we are only setting ourselves up for hurt when we think that people could take the place of God. When we think that people could fill that longing in our heart for acceptance and love and attention.

Friendships and relationships are wonderful gifts from God, don't think I'm saying we shouldn't have friends. We just have to be careful. We get trapped in this "Peter Pan" mentality of never growing up, never taking responsibility and never discovering happiness for ourselves because we rely so much on other people for our happiness. Society puts so much pressure of us having the most friends, the most likes, the most double taps, that we forget that it's okay to be alone or just have a few close friends. The whole world doesn't have to love us, follow us, or even like us, our worth isn't tangent on the acceptance of others.

Sometimes we forget (I have to constantly remind myself) Jesus understands. He was betrayed by His friend. Someone He spent time with, someone who was supposed to "have His back" hurt Him. He gets it, He's felt those emotions. We put up these walls, this "I don't care, no one can hurt me facade." But He sees through that, and honestly most people do too. You can put all over social media how you're "over it" "Miss moving on" or just "not caring anymore" but we all know deep down you care, deep down (maybe even not so deep) you're hurt.

I think we forget we are allowed to hurt. We are allowed to be sad and to run to the One who can heal our hurts. Psalm 71:3 says ||Be thou my strong habitation whereunto I may continually resort....for thou art my rock and my fortress.|| He loves us, He wants us to come to Him. When I find myself hurting instead of texting my current "bestie" or distracting myself with Facebook or snapchat, I should be talking to the only One who can heal my hurt.

"The cure to a lonely heart is to be alone with Jesus."

Take some time to talk to Him today, let Him fill that spot--that craving for attention love and acceptance--that can only be satisfied by Him.