And when the oceans rage...

Sorry guys. I'm really bad at being constant with this blogging thing. I will try to do better.
Some days are just really hard. You're homesick. Your heart is hurting. You feel like silly and childish for letting these emotions get the best of you yet again, when you are trying so hard to keep your thoughts under subjection and move on with your life. But sometimes the thoughts just come rushing in, memories, feelings. Isn't it funny how when you're having a rough day every class you have or every person you talk to in a round about way addresses your problem? Today for instance, I was having a rough morning and I was feeling a little inadequate. I am a counseling minor so in my advanced counseling class today we were talking about being complete in Christ. Just a subtle reminder of how the Lord wants me to find my self worth in Him, not in what others think or say about me. Words of affirmation are not really my love language, they are nice but I'm more of a touch or gifts kind of person. But today, I needed those words, I needed someone to tell me I was good enough. That I was loved. That I was accepted. Well, Someone did. He told me He loves me and held me in His arms and let me be weak so His strength could be perfected. I am so glad I have Jesus. Without Him, and the hope that He gives, the day would have been unbearable. Some days are hard. But life isn't fair. People let you down. People hurt you. You won't always feel good enough. You won't always get what you want when you want it. Sometimes I think I expect God to give me what I want when I want it. And then I'm reminded that maybe theres a reason why I don't have what I want. The timing should never be mine, If I get what I want when I want it....I might not want it so much anymore. God's timing is impeccably perfect. And He sees the bigger picture. He sees exactly what I need, He is painting my canvas and giving me the grace and color as He sees fit. I can't rush this. This summer I learned something, I learned that when I am worried, I have to give my worries to God. You might think, that's silly every one knows that, Cast all your cares upon Him. You learn that in Kindergarden, well yes I did. But I always thought that it meant that when I give those worries to God I can never ever think about them anymore, and I can never ever have those feelings anymore. That I would have to harden my heart against those emotions and "move on." Well this summer I learned that is so far from the truth. I can go to my Father and visit those worries anytime. But they have to be at His feet. That's why the Bible says pray without ceasing. I am only allowed to have those worries when I'm talking to God about them. Today I spent some extra time at His feet, and He never once told me He was too busy, or pushed me away because I wasn't good enough. He wiped my tears and picked up my broken pieces and replaced them with hope and truth that only He can give. I'm so thankful for my Jesus, my Father, my Friend.
When the oceans rage, I don't have to be afraid.